Near the church entrance you may find slips for the living and the departed. Writing a few names sounds simple until questions arise: Which name should I use? What if I do not know whether someone was baptized? A prayer list is a request for the Church to pray for people. Keeping that purpose in mind makes the paperwork less intimidating.
Keep the lists separate
Names of living people belong on the list for the living, whether or not they are ill. Names of those who have died belong on the list for the departed. This helps the clergy understand the request and commemorate people appropriately.
Write clearly and leave space between names. Use the parish’s form if one is provided. The number of lines and arrangements for receiving lists are practical parish matters, not measures of how much you care for someone.
Which name to use
A person’s baptismal name is normally used for church commemoration. Local languages have different conventions for writing names, so follow your parish’s example. If you are uncertain about spelling, ask. A grammar question need not stop you requesting prayer.
Do not invent a church equivalent for an unfamiliar name. Check with the person, their family, or the priest. A prayer slip does not need an address, detailed medical history, or an account of a family disagreement. If a sensitive situation needs explanation, speak privately to the priest.
When eligibility is unclear
Different forms of liturgical commemoration have particular requirements. Commemoration at the preparation of the Eucharistic gifts, for example, is connected with membership in the Orthodox Church. If someone is unbaptized, belongs to another tradition, or their circumstances are unknown, explain this and ask how prayer can be offered.
Do not conceal uncertainty just to get a name accepted. A name not being included in a particular rite does not mean you must stop loving that person or praying personally for them.
When to hand it in
Arrive early and ask which service the names can be submitted for. Preparation for the Divine Liturgy begins before its public part, so a last-minute request may be received for a later commemoration. If you arrive late, simply ask what is possible.
Where a donation is suggested, remember that this is not a purchase of an outcome. Money does not determine whether God hears prayer. If a donation is difficult for you, speak discreetly with an attendant or the priest.
Beyond the piece of paper
Stay to pray if you can. At home, remember the people on your list and consider whether someone needs practical help. A call, a visit, or a thoughtful act can accompany prayer; remembering someone who has died can also lead to an act of kindness.
The list brings a request into the Church’s prayer. It does not replace your own care. If you are unsure how to raise a question with the parish, you can Ask Father Peter.